Vintage Review – Cobra EaRThqUakE!
The Highs:
1. Working front scoop bucket
2. Drop-in mortar shells
3. Rugged construction
The Lows:
1. Neon, Neon, NEON
2. Mortar shells are prone to accidental firings
3. Crappy stickers/hard to find parts for
The Verdict:
A great toy from the end of the original line that overcomes its coloring.
The early 90s were a merely OK time to be a Joe fan. Subteams were rampant, the line was slowly dying off, and many fans consider 1990 to be the last of the “good” years. 1992 was certainly a hit or miss year…mostly miss. Fort America (I thought it was gonna be so cool…it was ok back then, now I don’t like it so much), the Barracuda, and everyone’s favorite vehicle, the Rat, were bringing the line down. Neon colors were starting to get extremely prevalent, much to many fans’ dismay. There WERE a few couple of bright spots in the line in 1992…and no, I don’t mean the colors. The first was the updated and (I think so, anyway) extremely cool GI Joe Headquarters. The second was the Cobra Earthquake.
I remember being impressed with the Earthquake the moment I saw its box, and I remember asking for and getting it for my birthday. What kid wouldn’t love having a big armored loader for his Cobras to use tearing stuff up? I don’t think it came before the Earthquake, but in the real world the Israeli Defense Forces use armored front end loaders to construct roadblocks and fortifications in hostile areas, such as the West Bank. The Earthquake is built like a traditional front loader, with four large tires pushed to the corners of the vehicle for stability. There is a big dump bucket up front, spanning almost the width of the vehicle. The two load arms that the bucket is attached to are joined by a T-handle at the top middle of the vehicle. Pulling back the T-handle raises the bucket. The bucket itself is articulated, and has three locked positions: slightly raised for transport, bucket lowered for scooping, and bucket dropped for load dumping (with the bucket raised on the last one, of course).
Though the Earthquake has a lot in common, there are a few places in its construction where the designers took liberties. Most loaders do not have a pivot point for steering; the Earthquake does. If you do not know what pivot point (or articulated) steering is, basically the vehicle has a big joint in the middle that allows the front and rear sections of the vehicle to turn independently of each other. Look at a John Deere 9030 Series 4 wheel drive tractor and you’ll see what I mean…they have articulated steering. The other big design difference is that instead of an upright cab set pretty much on top of the machine for visibility, the Earthquake has a two-person cockpit set low in the front section of the machine, beneath the armored canopy cover. I should note that the cockpit is actually very nicely detailed, a welcome switch from a lot of Joe vehicles from this era.
Moving to the rear, the Earthquake’s rear section is basically just a bunch of mortar tubes. There is room on the rear bumper for two figures to ride on the sides, but there’s a lack of handholds so it might be a hazardous ride for them. There is also a tow hook on the back so the Earthquake can tow vehicles like the Asp…always a welcome addition, at least in my book.
Besides the big bucket up front, the Earthquake does not lack in the weapons department. There are machine guns on both loader arms, set just behind and above the front tires. The machine guns can be elevated and depressed, and each one has two large missiles attached to it. The armored canopy has an opening in the top so the rider in the back can man the machine gun on top of it. And of course there’s the three big mortar tubes on the rear section. The mortar tubes have large 3” long shells, which have an orange spring-loaded rod sticking out of them. Push the button on the side of the shell and slide the rod in, and the rod will lock in place. Drop the shell down the tube (or on any hard surface) and with a SNAP the shell will be sent flying as the spring tension is released. There are three stoppers at the bottom of the mortar tubes that have arms that extend into the tubes via holes at their bottoms. These hold the shells in place if you want to move the vehicle and fire the shells without just dropping them down the tube. Flipping the stoppers to the rear drops the shell to the bottom of the tube and fires the shell. They actually have pretty good spring power behind them and will fire a good four to five feet.
The Earthquake’s neat, but there are flaws. The most glaring one is the color scheme. With a purple body, neon orange canopy and weaponry, and neon green boom arms and mortar shells, the Earthquake isn’t exactly camoed out on the battlefield. Not that a rolling bulldozer is the quietest, stealthiest thing to take into battle anyway, but MAN, you talk about making yourself a TARGET. If the whole thing was purple or better yet, CAT yellow, it wouldn’t be so bad…but the combination can only be described as LOUD. Honestly, I wish they had made the whole thing the same color green as the boom arms…because then it would have looked like Scrapper the Constructicon. Uh-oh, did I just give Hasbro an idea for NEXT year’s SDCC TF-Joe exclusive?
Besides the colors, I also have to complain about the stickers. They’re those crappy paper ones from late in the Joe line that aren’t very durable, and because of the EQ’s late release and relative lack of popularity, don’t expect to find repros any time soon. The same rarity works against you if you need replacement parts. It took me quite a while to find another missile and the last mortar tube stopper I was missing.
There are two other things I don’t like. The first is the location of the side guns/missiles. They are attached to the boom arms and not the vehicle itself. Though they can be rotated, their location makes it hard for the Earthquake to fire all its weapons and use the bucket at the same time. Plus, the EQ has to be driven around with those guns slightly raised, or else the bottom missiles will rub on the front tires. NOT an ideal travel arrangement. The final flaw lies in the mortar shells. They’re kind of spring happy, and sometimes accidentally bumping the Earthquake can make them fire if you have them “armed” and sitting in the tubes. Carrying the EQ with the shells ready to fire in the tubes is a good way to take one right in the eye.
In spite of the colors and in a move that may be surprising to some, I really like the Earthquake. It’s something different, and it combines a real vehicle with that great GI Joe fantasy element to make a wonderful toy. It’s also rugged and well-built…my Earthquake took quite a bit of abuse destroying Joe fortifications back in the day (and digging in my mom’s garden…shhhh) but it’s none the worse for wear today, other than a few missing stickers. If you want an Earthquake, be prepared to pay anywhere from $20-$50. I suggest spending the money and buying a complete one rather than trying to scrape one together, because parts for that thing are pretty rare. With the loud colors and overall destructive theme, the Earthquake makes a great Dreadnok vehicle, which I think is why my buddy LJ wanted me to take pics of it with some 25th Dreadnoks. Now if Hasbro would just take me up on my hint and make the 2nd Transfomers-GI Joe crossover a bright green reissue of the Earthquake with Decepticon colors and markings…
WHY did you paint our new loader NEON, you IDIOT!?!?!!?
