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Topics - olyeller01

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1
Off Topic / Congrats to my Canadian friends...
« on: February 21, 2014, 06:47:42 PM »
Congrats to my Canadian friends on yet another Olympic hockey victory over my country.

On the bright side, at least I won't end up with -1000 Timbits this time.

2
I'm a big fan of the bad-in-black Dollar General exclusive Cobra Troopers.  The only problem with them is that since they are "budget" figures they don't come with the pistol, silencer, & knife that the regular PoC Cobra Trooper carried.  Probably not a big deal if you just want one of these guys, as you can probably scrounge some weapons up to fill those spots...but it IS a big deal if you want to army-build these guys! 

Marauder Gun-Runners has a solution now though.  They sell "Fix-It" kits that contain a pistol, knife, and a grenade that will clip onto the silencer's spot. There are 2 pistol options, 1911 .45 ACP and the more modern Desert Eagle.  The set costs a whopping $1, and would also work for any figure with the PoC Trooper legs that you may have lost the weapons for. 

If you're interested, check it out here:
http://www.marauderinc.com/servlet/Detail?no=416

3
General Joe Talk / Have You Voted Yet?
« on: July 09, 2012, 08:19:47 PM »
Have you voted yet?  I'm not talking about trying to pick the lesser of two political evils who want to serve big-money interests while wasting your tax dollars - I'm talking, of course about the www.generalsjoes.com "2012 (US) JoeCon Concept Case Survey."

The easy to use survey lets you rank the figures in the "Concept Case" at (US) JoeCon, letting Hasbro know which concepts are sure things and which are duds.  It's split into five parts - 30th Anniversary, PoC, Renegades, Zombies/Ninjas, & vehicles.  There's also refresher galleries if you can't remember your NOMaD from your Data-Viper. 

Besides the ranking questions, the end includeds write-in options for figures and vehicles that weren't shown that you would like to see made or remade.  So, whether your dying for a new Tomahawk, you want to see Ice Cream Soldier, the Rat, and Eco-Force resurrected, or you think an updated SkyStriker based on an F-18 Super Hornet would be awesome (like me!) this is a chance for your voice to be heard. 

It might take 10 minutes of your time and it's not endorsed by Hasbro, but you know they'll see it...so get to voting!  The initial survey ends July 23, with a refined, follow-up survey based on the results starting July 30th.

I would love to hear what the rest of you think, especially with the write-ins.  I would like a reissued Defiant (I can dream, right?) the aforementioned Super Hornet SkyStriker, and a Tomahawk among other things on the vehicle side.  For figures, I'd like to see guys like Cross Country, Ambush, Scoop, and Golobulus show up.

4
Reviews Section / Review - Ghost Hawk II!
« on: June 14, 2012, 01:02:39 AM »
Review – Ghost Hawk II!


The Highs: Realistic body colors, powerful-looking engines, heavily armed, cool harness play feature, first Joe vehicle with a true refueling boom.

The Lows: Neon missiles, difficult stickers, wings and missiles fall off WAY too easily, would be a LOT cooler if it was bigger. Also, is Hasbro cutting cost in the names department too?

The Verdict: The only truly new member of the Joe vehicle line is also one of the best.


I admit to going “Eeeehhhhhh” when seeing the lineup of the new Retaliation Joe vehicles.  While I like the HISS and the Fang Boat (and the AWE/Ninja Commando 4x4 is ok) the Ghost Hawk II REALLY caught my eye.  It was the only truly new vehicle, and I’m a big fan of Joe vehicles that (pretend) fly.



 I was initially worried that the Ghost Hawk II would be a revamp of the Black Dragon VTOL mold, but my fears were quickly assuaged.  I thought the Black Dragon was too small and skinny to be a legitimate transport vehicle.  Sure, it was kinda neat and had some neat features, but it just looked too small for my taste.  Though the GHII is just slightly larger (beefier body, as well as slightly longer nose to tail and wingtip-to-wingtip) that little bit makes a lot of difference.  The extra room also means that the GHII has a few neat additional features that the Black Dragon simply couldn’t fit.

The Ghost Hawk II is decorated in a fairly military color scheme of gray, green, and gunmetal.  The lower hull is gray, the upper hull and wings are green, and the refueling boom, engines, and skids are gunmetal.  There’s also a bronzetone canopy.  Various black and yellow stickers work to set the colors off.



Speaking of the refueling boom, it gives the GHII a feature no Joe vehicle before it has carried: the capability of pretend mating with an aerial tanker for refueling.  This is a simple little touch, but really gives the GHII a long-range transport feel.  Continuing to the rear, the canopy opens to reveal a HUGE cockpit…which unfortunately only fits one figure.  That figure though, has plenty of room to move around on those transcontinental flights.  There’s some decent detail molded into the cockpit, but alas there is no cool HUD sticker or anything else to add color and detail to the cockpit.  Just aft of the cockpit are the wings.  The wings sport plenty of hard points on either side of the fuselage for multiple missiles and bombs, as well as a set of spring-loaded launchers molded into them that fire dual-warhead missiles.  On the outer part of the wings are four massive engines, one on top and one on bottom on each side.  The engines can be rotated to give the GHII true VTOL capability.  Short wingtips clip onto the outer sides of the engines, completing the winged look.  I must say here that I really admire the engines.  Their beefy size give the GHII a great sense of power, and make you think that a somewhat portly-looking transport vehicle could in fact be very fast. 







On the underside of the GHII (below the cockpit) sit a pair of gunmetal skids.  While the skids are just a bit too thick for a figure to grab onto, there is enough space for a figure to wrap their arm around the skid.  This would be useful in those emergency, hot LZ evac situations.   Moving to the rear, the rear belly features an opening hatch.  Inside the hatch is one of the coolest features I’ve seen on a Joe vehicle in a while: a harness with a backpack post attachment hooked to a string.  When not in use, the string wraps around a hidden hook in the tail, and the handle used when pulling the string clips to the interior underside of the tail section, securing the harness.




This harness is a neat idea and an awesome play feature.  Perfect for quick and clandestine inserts and extracts (as well as another hot LZ option) the harness can be used to secure just about any Joe figures.  However, this excellent idea is somewhat hampered in its execution.  First, the harness doesn’t tightly fit all figures.  In fact, it truly only tightly fits some of the larger ones.  This could lead to the unfortunate situation of opening the belly hatch during play only to have the figure inside take an accidental free-fall.  Further, figures cannot wear their webgear and the harness at the same time, a potentially major equipment issue.







The Ghost Hawk II also carries a fairly large amount of ordnance.  Each wing sports three medium sized missiles and a bomb underneath, as well as a larger missile and the dual-warhead missile in the launcher on top.  There are a couple of problems with the missiles besides them being neon orange.  First, they suffer from the same small attachment points as the 30th SkyStriker, though they do admittedly stay on better than THOSE missiles (I’m sure changing toy safety regs had something to do with that).  Those small hardpoints mean it is very easy to knock a missile off the wing accidentally. The second issue is with the way the wings themselves attach to the fuselage of the GHII.  While secure enough for regular play, it is way too easy to push the wings completely off the vehicle while trying to re-secure a missile to the underside of a wing.  Doing so will leave you with ALL the missiles, the engines, and the wings themselves scattered about, as well as a possible bruised foot. 

My only other major complaint with the Ghost Hawk is with the stickers.  Just because of the way several of them are made, some of them are quite hard to get lined up symmetrically.  I love me some stickers…but I hate when putting them on is overly frustrating.  Also, I know Hasbro keeps trying more and more to emphasize the ninja elements of GI Joe, but I could have done without the Arashikage symbols on the sides of the GHII.  When did the ninjas start running things?  Shouldn’t those be GI Joe symbols?  And Hasbro, remember what happened the FIRST TIME when you got too ninja happy? 

I will take this opportunity to note that the terrible 5 POA figure included with the GHII is called “Duke” but could easily be called “Crappy Generic Pilot.”  He’s bad, but not as terrible as the Snake Eyes from the Ninja Commando 4x4.  And that’s all I’ve got to say about that. 


Look Ma, no articulation!

All in all though, I really like the Ghost Hawk II.  Sure, the stickers and the wings/missiles can be frustrating.  Yes, the missiles are neon and the harness isn’t as cool as it could be.  Granted, the name is unoriginal and the vehicle would look even better if it was bigger.  Despite those flaws, I really like the Ghost Hawk II.  Even the neon missiles don’t bother me as bad as they did when I first got it (you could say I’m almost used to them now).  This is a solid addition to the Joe line, and definitely worth a look…especially at a $20-$22 US price point.

5
Reviews Section / Quickie Review - Cobra Fang Boat!
« on: June 14, 2012, 12:56:33 AM »
Quickie Review – Cobra Fang Boat!

The Highs: Another re-use of the excellent Water Moccasin/Sting Raider mold, coloring has a vintage Cobra feel.

The Lows: New missile launcher can interfere with the turret, 5 points of articulation spoils an interesting figure, nothing really new here.

The Verdict: Worth picking up, but making the driver with true Joe articulation would have made this a home run.

A few years ago, Hasbro released a new version of the old Water Moccasin, using a new mold.  The result, the Sting Raider, gave us a preview of things to come with the 30th SkyStriker: a vehicle that was obviously a new mold, but very closely resembled the original.  Like the majority of vehicles in the Retaliation line, Hasbro decided to reuse the mold and rename the Water Moccasin again, this time as the Fang Boat. 



The Fang Boat shuns the teal blue of its predecessor (as well as the snakey camo of the TRU Exclusive Rise of Cobra Sting Raider) for a classic, almost vintage Cobra looking color scheme.  The bottom of the hull, fan, and rudders are black, the upper hull is gunmetal gray, and the turret, engine shroud, compartment covers, and the new missile launcher are Cobra blue.  For a little contrast, the missile and front windshield trim are bright red.  While the red isn’t exactly military, it does set the other colors off nicely.





If you have either of the earlier Sting Raiders, you know all about the cool features: thumbwheel to turn the fan, moveable rudders, fairly deep storage compartments on either side of the engine, removable engine shroud with engine detail underneath (though no silver on the engine like on the two predecessors in an obvious cost-cutting measure) and that funky little torpedo/skipedo hidden at the aft rear of the boat.  All those features are still there.  The only added feature is, of course, the new missile launcher.  Frankly, it doesn’t look bad at all.  My only complaint is that it somewhat restricts the movement of the turret gun.  The gun can still rotate over it, but the gunner does not have the same close-in firing range to the boat’s starboard side that he does regularly. 



Honestly, I figured I would hate the spring-loaded launcher, but I don’t mind it at all.  I just wish Hasbro had picked one or the other, and given us two cannons or two spring-loaded launchers.  While the one cannon/one launcher look isn’t terrible, I wished the sides matched.  There IS always the option of buying two Fang Boats or robbing a cannon from a Sting Raider to make the two sides match.  Unfortunately, the base of the missile launcher is asymmetrical, so it will not fit on the port side.  Sad, because I wouldn’t have minded having two Fang Boats: one with cannons, and one with dual missile launchers!

The included driver, Swamp Viper, is an interesting figure.  He has a cool-looking helmet, and the red uniform with black and gray accents looks fantastic.  Too bad he’s a five-points-of-articulation junker.  Seriously, I wish Hasbro either wouldn’t give us figures, or would charge a few dollars more and give us drivers with full articulation.  A figure full of promise like Swamp Viper having that promise wasted by giving him just five points of articulation is just sad.  If Hasbro can make money off $6 Dollar General Joes with minimal accessories, surely they could include a driver with full articulation but no accessories for an extra buck or two.


Oh, what could have been...

Anyway, the Fang Boat is definitely worth picking up, especially if you missed out on the Sting Raiders.  It is also readily available for retail price online, so you don’t have to worry about secondary market prices…yet.  The choice of a poorly articulated driver for the Fang Boat is a sad one, because a fully articulated Swamp Viper included with this thing would make it a surefire home run!

6
Reviews Section / Review - Ninja Commando 4x4!
« on: June 14, 2012, 12:53:23 AM »
Review – Retaliation Ninja Commando 4x4!

The Highs:  It’s a slightly new take on the AWE Striker, holds more figures than the original version, no antennae to break off.

The Lows:  New roof hinders one of the coolest features of the original toy, giant, unremovable Arashikage symbol on hood, firing grappling hook doesn’t elevate, don’t get me started on the included figure.

The Verdict:  All the previous versions of the AWE Striker are superior.  Buy one of those instead of this if you don’t have one. 

I’ve loved the AWE Striker for quite a while, and I own quite a few versions of it. From the ’01 & ’03 TRU Exclusive versions to both 25th Anniversary versions to the PoC AWE Striker, I’ve got quite a few versions of the same toy (about the only version I lack is the Eco Striker).  In fact, you could almost call the AWE Striker the Snake Eyes of vehicles, because every time a new line comes out we get a new version of it.  The same holds true with the Retaliation line, but instead of getting another AWE, we get the “Ninja Commando 4x4.” 



The core of the NC4x4 is definitely an AWE, complete with the working suspension and turning front wheels that was so cool back in the mid-‘80s.  Three new parts differentiate the NC4x4 from previous versions, however.  First, a redesigned front grill guard/bumper replaces one of the overly fragile parts of the original.  Instead of headlights sticking up above the guard like on the old AWE, they are now mounted lower, giving the front end of the NC4x4 a sleeker, cleaner look.  There’s also a non-working winch molded into this piece.  The front grille clips on strongly enough to stay attached most of the time, but will pop off easily if hit directly, preventing breakage. 



Second, instead of the old six-point rollcage that the AWE was equipped with, the NC4x4 comes with a 7-point rollcage and roof that has been significantly redesigned.  The new rollcage has an extra bar and attachment point in the middle of the dash.  I wasn’t too sure about this at first, but the middle bar is set back a bit from the two outer front bars, so it’s not obnoxiously noticeable.  There are also neat new features added to the rollcage.  The passenger side gets a new grab handle for those “Oh S***!” moments that occur while flying across sand dunes.  The driver gets a mirror, so he can see how much dust the Cobras behind him are choking on.  Moving to the rear, the back two bars now have molded on weapons clips, two to each side.  Not a bad addition, especially when any passengers will probably need to hold on for dear life while riding.  Finally, the very rear of the new rollcage features an important addition: two small platforms with pegs on them.  No longer is the AWE/NC4x4 restricted to driver, passenger, and two riders on the side steps: now, two more figures can ride into battle on the nimble little vehicle.  Carrying extra figures (and thus extra firepower) is important because the last new piece of the NC4x4 removes the offensive capabilities the old AWE had.





The final new piece of the Ninja Commando 4x4 is the new spring-loaded grappling hook (with string attached) that takes the place of the familiar cannon that has topped many an AWE Striker.  The designers of the new attachment really put some thought into it, too.  There’s a recessed ring where the string attaches to the barrel, which is perfect for winding the string onto.  The missile/grappling hook itself has notches cut into it so that it can be wrapped around objects and easily hook the string, holding itself in place.  There’s even small handles molded onto the rear of the launcher so that the new rear riders can grab on and aim it if necessary. 



Ok, so the new front attachment makes the NC4x4 look sleeker than the AWE, and isn’t as fragile to boot.  The new rollcage design adds some very nice details and ups the number of figures the NC4x4 can carry into battle.  The grappling hook launcher has a well thought-out design.  So, why isn’t the new NC4x4 superior to its predecessor?  First, the new rollcage design prevents access to one of the neatest features of the original AWE: the removable engine.  If you have an AWE and a Mobile Command Center and you tell me that you haven’t spent a few hours “swapping engines” with the MCC’s engine hoist, I know you are lying.  To access the engine on the NC4x4, you have to pretty much remove the rollcage.  The shroud still comes off and the engine still comes out…but there’s no way to get to it without pulling off the vehicle’s roof, first.  Also, the figure riding on that new platform on the passenger side of the rear of the vehicle had better have a sealed oxygen supply, because if not he or she will quickly succumb to carbon monoxide poisoning from the exhaust exiting by their ankles.

Second, there’s the matter of the huge, non-removable Arashikage symbol emblazoned on the hood.  Ninjas are renowned for stealth and cunning.  I don’t think turning your dune buggy into a rolling billboard quite qualifies as stealthy OR cunning, guys, but it might very well get you shot.  Painting over it could be an option for customizers, but otherwise it’s kind of an eyesore.

Finally, the new grappling hook launcher is lacking one very critical feature: articulation.  Specifically, it lacks the ability to raise the launcher and make it fire any way but directly ahead of wherever it’s aimed.  So, unless your ninjas are going to be sliding down a cliff or crossing a stream in front of them or something, that nice new grappling hook is pretty useless.  Should the ninjas need to get onto, I dunno, a BUILDING or something that is taller than the NC4x4, they’re out of luck, because there’s no way to fire that nice new grappling hook onto the roof.



The terrible thing is that Hasbro COULD have saved the money they spent on the absolutely terrible 5-POA Snake Eyes included with the Ninja Commando 4x4 and mounted the grappling hook launcher on an articulated joint.  Doing so would have made the grappling hook launcher extremely cool and useful.  Instead, we get a terrible, completely black Snake Eyes with a frozen, unnatural pose.  I nominate this new Snake Eyes as Worst Joe Toy of All Time.  This Snake Eyes makes the Mole Pod look like the HATE in comparison.  Terrible, terrible, terrible figure. 


The worst figure in GI Joe history.

The Ninja Commando 4x4 is another example of a Joe vehicle that could have been fantastic.  Remove (or at least make smaller) the Arashikage symbol, make the engine shroud and engine easily removable even with the new roof design, and make the grappling hook launcher articulated so it can elevate, and this would be an excellent vehicle and an excellent new take on a classic.  As it stands though, I only recommend the NC4x4 if you either don’t currently own an AWE or if you’re a big AWE Striker fan, like myself.

7
Reviews Section / Review - "Dollar Store Exclusive" Joes!
« on: June 14, 2012, 12:47:57 AM »
Review – “Dollar Store” Joes!


The Highs: Hey, it’s more 25th-style Joes!  Unlabeled stands good for customizing.

The Lows: Nothing truly new, minimal accessories, somewhat limited distribution.

The Verdict: “Must-haves” if you can find them for US $6 a pop.


When the GI Joe: Retaliation toy line-up was first announced at Toy Fair International, Joe fans were a bit disappointed by the lack of throwback Joes.  Sure, there was the Comic-Con exclusive Jinx, but…not much else.  In April rumors started swirling about some classic-styled Joes being released…but as dollar store exclusives.  Wait, what?  That can’t be right, can it?  Would they be true GI Joe figures?  Or would they be like the terrible dollar store Marvel Universe figures, with no accessories and just 5 terrible points of articulation for US $6?

Turns out, the rumors were correct, and these aren’t terrible figures, either.  Truth be told, there have been some horrible “Dollar Store Exclusive” Joes out there for a while.  The “Dollar Joes” available until very recently were reissued or repainted Spy Troops/Valor vs Venom figures on tiny cards and with no accessories.  Can’t get much worse than that.  Well, someone at Hasbro figured out that with the mass of 25th style parts that Hasbro has been building inventory of since 2007, they could get new Joes into the dollar stores, throw in some nods to classic figures, and still make profitable, fully articulated Joes (they even have the up/down wrist articulation!) with just a few sacrifices. 

The figures we ended up with are some we’ve all seen before and have plenty of versions of, but these new Dollar Joes are unique figures.  We get stalwarts Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, Cobra Commander, Duke, Shipwreck, and a Cobra Officer.  While these are nice new versions, don’t get me wrong…there ARE sacrifices made on these figures.  These new Joes come on smaller cards without filecards, they have limited paint apps, and their accessories are limited, all in the name of profitability.  Strangely enough, Hasbro still includes figure stands with these Joes, though the characters’ code names are no longer printed on the front.  I find this an odd choice and would prefer a few more weapons. 

I’ll start with Cobra Commander.  This figure is a nod to the 1993 black hooded Commander from the days of Battle Corps, and he sports a black uniform with silver epaulets, belt, holster, and scabbard that are remade from the ’08 comic pack Commander.  He’s constructed using a Crimson Guard torso, battle pack CC head, and the Resolute CC head.  This actually makes for a pretty nice Commander and is almost a dead ringer for the ’93 figure, with the main difference being the Cobra sigil placed his hood instead of his breast.  Cobra Commander is outfitted with a .45 and the same snake head-handled sword from the comic pack Commander.  The only noticeable cost-cutting measure with this figure is the unpainted blade on the sword, which is easily fixed with a little silver paint.  All in all, this is a MUCH better executed Commander than quite a few others we’ve been given in recent years, and he’s also a great homage to the ’93 figure.  Not bad at all for a discount Joe!





Next on the list is Shipwreck.  This figure’s a nod to Joe vs Cobra from a decade ago, as his deco closely resembles the 2002 BAT/Shipwreck 2-pack JvC version.  Blue beanie and shirt, gray pants, and black shoes.  Shippy is constructed with the head from Rise of Cobra Shipwreck, 25th Beachhead’s upper body, and the legs from Renegades Duke.  For gear, Shipwreck carries Renegades Duke’s pistol (which will still clip onto the figure’s leg) and the SCUBA mask and backpack from the RoC version.  There’s no obvious cost-cutting here, as the SCUBA mask retains the silver painted goggles so critical to keep the mask from looking cheap.  My one complaint with this figure though is the length of the neck, which is just a little too long for the RoC head.  Still though, not a bad figure to help fill out your Flagg’s flight deck crew, and for some reason I like the Renegades pistol with Shipwreck much better than I ever did with Duke.





Next on our list is Duke.  This version of Duke fits him out in an “Original 13” style outfit, and in fact he uses 7-pack Zap’s body and webgear, topped off with an Ace head with repainted blonde hair.  Duke comes outfitted with and M-16, one sidearm, and a beefy helmet.  As far as cost-cutting measures go, the only noticeable one here is the lack of a second pistol for the ankle holster.  Honestly, this probably won’t be an issue because if you’re like me and have been collecting figures of this style since ’07, you’ll have PLENTY of extra pistols laying around for that holster.  This figure doesn’t exactly scream “Duke!” at me, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, considering the amount of Dukes we already have.  Despite the lack of Duke-ness, this figure is still very nice looking and has a classic style.  Use this guy as a greenshirt or as a base for a custom version of an “Original 13” member. 






Switching back to the bad guy side of things, we have the Cobra Officer.  This figure’s package may say “Cobra Trooper” but that “V” on the helmet, to me, makes this guy an officer.  There’s no new body construction or mishmash of parts here…this is a straight black repaint of the Pursuit of Cobra Cobra Trooper.  And you know what?  That’s just fine and dandy with me.  I loved the PoC Cobra Troopers, so getting a black version is like getting a second dessert or something.  While he’s almost completely black, there are a few gray accents on his webgear, as well as gray kneepads, that break up the monotony a bit.  There’s also a silver Cobra sigil emblazoned on the figure’s chest, with the Cobra officer’s “V” painted in silver on the helmet as well.  Cobra Officer comes outfitted with only an AK-47.  While the AK is always the choice weapon for international terrorists, the cost-cutting rears its ugly head here.  The holster for the PoC Trooper’s pistol with silencer and sheath for the knife are still present on the figure’s right leg, and because both accessories are fairly new you probably don’t have many extras to fully equip your new discount Officer.  All things considered though, this is a wonderful figure for $6.  If Hasbro had offered this as a fully outfitted regular retail release, I bet they would have sold a boatload of them to army builders, because this is one nice-looking figure!





The obligatory Storm Shadow in this allotment of figures is not as obligatory a figure as usual.  Veering away from yet another version of a Cobra ninja dressed in white, THIS figure pays homage to a classic figure and subteam many fans would probably rather forget…the ’92 Ninja Force Storm Shadow.  Though lacking the gold accents, this figure sports a black & white uniform that mimics, but doesn’t quite replicate, the design on the original figure.  Stormy’s body is a repaint of the 30th Anniversary/Renegades Storm Shadow that everyone went absolutely nutso over, and for good reason.  This body is one of the best-articulated and best-sculpted Joe bodies ever made.  While Hasbro is certainly starting to get some mileage out of the mold between this Stormy figure and its two uses in the Retaliation line so far, if they can keep pulling off figures like THIS I won’t complain.  Too much.  Yet.  Oh yeah, and the body is topped off with the balaclava-clad ninja head that we’ve gotten quite a few times since the Rise of Cobra figures.



Anyway, for gear Storm Shadow comes with the same sash and belt as the vintage-style items included with the 30th Anniversary figure.  There’s also the hood that was originally included with the Resolute 7-pack Storm Shadow.  THIS time however, the hood fits very well and doesn’t look very goofy at all.  Again, it doesn’t quite replicate the original design, but it does mimic it well.  For weaponry, the Stormy is lightly equipped with only a long-handled katana in black…though it does pay homage to the bright white weapons that were included with the Ninja Force version.  There’s also the good ol’ compound bow that figures such as PoC Spirit and Shadow Tracker have carried around in the past, and it still doesn’t fit in figures’ hands very well.  While lacking a few details of the original figure, this is a nice homage to an otherwise mostly forgotten time in Joe history, and is very well done for a budget figure.



Finally, there’s yet another Snake Eyes.  This one pays homage to the bright blue 1991 version.  In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that the ’91 Snake Eyes was one of my favorite figures as a kid.  Neon weapons be damned, I was very excited to find him back in the day, and I used to have a ton of fun with that spring-loaded grappling hook backpack.  Heck, I even got the 12” version of this figure from the “Hall of Heroes” line and was very excited to get that, though he’s one of a very few 12” figures I own. 

The torso of ol’ Snakes here is the same one that was originally made for the ’89 version from the 25th Anniversary line.  I could not for the life of me place the arms, but Justin Bell’s review of this figure over at the excellent GeneralsJoes.com correctly identifies them as the arms from the terrible Arctic Battle PoC Storm Shadow.  No wonder I couldn’t identify them…that figure was terrible, and I think I spent two seconds looking at him and trying out the stupid spring-loaded action before tossing him in my dreaded, crowded surplus figure bin.  Back to the figure, the upper legs and kneepads were robbed from Alley Viper.  Best I can figure out, the lower legs come from Resolute Duke, but I might be wrong here.  Snake Eyes is topped off with the ’83 style head that was 1 of 2 included with the excellent PoC Wave 3 SE, and the head has been appropriately painted to approximate the ’91 Snakes.  The head sits a little too low on the figure’s neck for my tastes. I also agree completely with JoeCanuck board member canprime, who suggested that the head from the Retaliation Cobra Trooper would make a better head for ’91 Snakes.  I’m pretty sure that before long, someone will come up with a custom version combining that head with this figure, painted to match.  And I bet it will look fantastic.  Anyway, for weaponry Snake Eyes has a single black sword.  The sword is almost a dead ringer for the dual neon red versions included with the original, but that’s the only armament.  Also included is a gray vest that is a repaint of the vest included with PoC AWE Striker driver Night Fox, which completes the ’91 look.  Overall, I call this figure a triple…tantalizingly close, but not quite a home run.





Hasbro made an excellent design decision with these figures.  Not only are they cool enough to catch the eye of a kid wandering the toy aisle at Dollar General, the underlying vintage theme has collectors excited about them, as well.  Hasbro could well have made these figures follow in the footsteps of the Marvel Universe discount figures and just released some 5 points-of-articulation junkers for $6…kind of like what they did with the vehicle drivers in the Retaliation line.  Instead, they went with full articulation and just cut back on accessories, which I honestly have no problem with.  I have enough extra Joe accessories from the last 5 years to probably outfit three otherwise unequipped armies anyway.  Further, you can always visit Marauder Gun-Runners if you feel that these figures are not equipped enough for your liking. 

If you want these figures, be ready to scour Dollar Generals, or be ready to pay at least twice retail on eBay.  I got a decent eBay deal and pulled the trigger, because discussions with a few local DG managers assured me that these figures wouldn’t be in my area anytime soon.  (The managers told me that they had just reset their toy plan-o-grams for May and it was highly doubtful the POG would change or they would get new product until fall).  These aren’t Earth-shattering figures by any means, but they’re definitely nice for what they are.  Good job, Hasbro.  If you keep making “cheap” figures like these, I look forward to seeing what you can do with the next wave!



8
Off Topic / Things I Learned from Having my Home Burglarized
« on: March 28, 2012, 12:49:22 AM »
With the good news last week of my Dad getting released from the hospital came some bad.  While I was back home helping Mom some thieving bastards decided to break into my house.  While I was very fortunate and did not lose much, it still quickly adds up dollar wise...and it makes me furious.  I lost my room tv/computer monitor (a 32" LED), a bunch of tool sets (that's the one that really pisses me off) and an extra PS3.  Not much in the big picture, but definitely enough.  Anyway, here are some tips that I will pass on.  While I hope none of you need them, they are good reminders anyway...

1. Photograph all of your valuables.  For electronics, photograph the front and turn them around and take a zoomed-in photo of the back, capturing the model and serial numbers.  Thanks to a discussion I had a while back with a detective, I did this, and I stand a greater chance of getting the thieves caught/my stuff back if they try to pawn it.  I also have an easier time proving to insurance what I had.

2. Take those same pics with your cell phone camera and back them up to multiple devices.  If you take them with a digital camera and stick it in a drawer, guess what: it'll probably be gone too.  Your cell phone will most likely be on your person and thus will probably not end up stolen...you can also have the information easily at hand for the police.

3. If at all possible, make the deadbolt on your house's back door key-only from the INSIDE as well as the out.  While a slight pain in the butt to have to have your keys on you to open the door, having my door this way most likely saved my larger possessions, because the thieves couldn't get the back door open to easily haul stuff out. 

4. If you do suffer from a break-in, don't disturb the crime scene if at all possible even after the patrol officers leave, preferably for at least a day.  I got a follow-up visit from some detectives and the CSI unit the next morning.

5. Have your alarm checked every other month.  If you have a room with a glassbreak/vibration sensor, leave the door open so it stands a greater chance of picking up a break-in that does not happen in the room with the sensor.  Make sure you have enough motion sensors to cover every route through the house.

6. Exterior lighting is your friend.  The very week that my back porch light went out (I tried to replace it before I left, but the fixture itself was bad) was the week that my house got broken into.  Now, besides a brighter, working back porch light the rear of my house also spots a motion-sensor LED spotlight that can probably be viewed from space.

7. If you rent your place, for Heaven's sake get renter's insurance.  It's usually available from the same people you get your car insurance from (and you will probably get a discount on it as a package deal).  Mine costs me just $40 a year.  The value of stuff I lost from a SMALL break-in was $2000.  It just paid for itself many times over.

8. Never make it obvious that you're leaving for a while.  I seriously believe that I was being watched.  Wheeling a big suitcase out to your car is like staking a sign in the front yard announcing that you will be gone for several days.  Pack and load your car the day before you are supposed to leave, if you can...and it's easier to find items you would have otherwise forgotten to take with you that way, too.

9. An engraving tool will cost you around $25 at a home improvement center.  Using it to engrave your initials on items like tools will make the thieves less likely to steal them and increase your recovery chances, too.  It's hard for a pawn shop to deny that the tools in the tool box that just happen to have your initials engraved on them are yours. 

10. While not an option for me, the police told me that a dog is just about the best theft deterrent there is.  It doesn't necessarily have to be a pit bull or a rottweiler either.

While I seriously hope none of you ever need my tips, I hope I have at least given you food for thought and made you reevaluate your home security system.



9
Off Topic / New, FANTASTIC Dad news!
« on: March 28, 2012, 12:25:48 AM »
Hey guys,

I just wanted to let you all know that, thanks in no small part to the thoughts and prayers of people like my JoeCanuck family, that my Dad is now officially HOME from the hospital, as of last Thursday.  He still has to have Home Health Care come by daily for physical therapy and he still has to take IV antibiotics once a day but he's back home. 

It was really touch and go for a while there, and we very nearly lost him, but the tough ol' warrior pulled through and now I get to have him around to keep me straight.  Or at least to give me hell over the phone.

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and good wishes!

10
Reviews Section / Supplement to Review - The Story of my Flagg
« on: March 01, 2012, 01:45:10 AM »
Ok, so what do Sherwin-Williams, JoeCanuck, YoJoe, and an MLB player all have in common?

They all played a role in me acquiring my Flagg.

One day last May, I was on JoeCanuck chatting with Dodge822.  After a long chat about his Dodge pickup truck and an appearance by THE Mike, who gave us an '11 CJC sneak peek, we were about to sign off.  Dodge asked if I was still looking for a Flagg, and how close I was to Indiana.  My answers were yes, and not very.  Dodge sent me a link to a posting on YoJoe for me to check out.  Turns out a fellow on YoJoe was desperate to get rid of his almost-complete Flagg.  The price was nice, but the problem was he absolutely did NOT want to ship it, and who could blame him? 

I should note here that that very same day, I had received a nice quarterly bonus check from Sherwin-Williams.  So, I had the cash.  The question was, how would I get the Flagg from Indiana to Texas?  Staring at the map, I noticed the state next to Indiana...Ohio.  The state Cincinnati is in.  It just so happens that one of my best friends in the world is also a pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds...Logan Ondrusek, #66.  Doing a quick Google Maps search between the Flagg owner's hometown and Cincy, I discovered they were about 2 hours away.  I called Logan, told him the situation, and asked if there were any way in Hell that if the guy had the thing and was willing to meet him somewhere, if Logan would go pick it up.  Keep in mind, that during baseball season true days off are few and far between for players.  Many days when they don't have games, they're traveling to or from another city.  Days off when they are at home are even more rare, but the Reds had one coming up.  Logan, being the wonderful guy that he is and knowing how much I wanted the Flagg, agreed to get it for me somewhat reluctantly.

Then, from Logan: "Wait a second dude, why doesn't the guy just ship it to you?"

Me: "Well, it comes apart, but it's kind of too big to ship."

Logan: "Too big?  How big is this thing?"

Me:  "Uh, when it's fully assembled, it's 7 1/2 feet long."

Logan: "Jesus CHRIST!  That's longer than I am! (Logan is 6'8".)  HOW BIG OF A DAMN AIRCRAFT CARRIER DOES A FOUR INCH GI JOE FIGURE NEED!?!?  SERIOUSLY!?!?"

Me:  "Well, OBVIOUSLY seven and a half feet!"

After an anxious night, I contacted the seller the next morning.  Yes, he still had it.  Yes, he still desperately needed to get rid of it.  No, he was not a Reds fan (damn).  Yes, he would meet Logan somewhere.

I quickly arranged payment.  When the Reds had their next off day, Logan graciously met the seller and picked up my Flagg for me, and complained to me over the phone about how much room it took up the whole way back to Cincy.  We have a long-standing football rivalry and Logan told me that if I talked any smack about his Cowboys for the rest of baseball season, the Flagg would change from an aircraft carrier to a submarine.  Courtesy of the Ohio River.  I managed to hold my tongue.

Well, I had paid for my Flagg, and it had been picked up.  The problem now was waiting.  I wasn't making a trip to Cincy any time soon, and Logan certainly couldn't pack the Flagg along when the Reds made road trips to Houston, so I had to play the waiting game.  For the rest of baseball season.  Baseball has a REALLY long season, too. 

Finally, the season ended, and Logan made his way back to Texas, still threatening to dump the Flagg in a river or on a roadside the whole way, and complaining again about how much room it took up. 

A few short days later, I had my Flagg, and a heck of a story to tell about it. 

11
Reviews Section / Vintage Review - USS FLAGG Aircraft Carrier!!!!!!!
« on: March 01, 2012, 01:20:10 AM »
Vintage Review – USS Flagg Aircraft Carrier!


The Highs:  Frigging HUGE, WOW factor, will hold a ton of figures/vehicles, Holy Grail of the Joe line.

The Lows:  Huge toy means huge space requirements, expensive, many small, easy-to-lose, fragile and expensive parts, basically a table with a tower.

The Verdict:  If you have the means, the room, and the desire, the dropped jaws alone are worth the price of admission

I’ve done some big reviews.  I’ve done the TerrorDrome, the General, the Mobile Command Center…the list goes on, to some of the largest vehicles and playsets ever offered in the history of toys.  I’ve reviewed some of the most unique and iconic vehicles the line has to offer.  I’ve reviewed some of the rarest Joe stuff out there.  But THIS is by far the BIGGEST review I could EVER do, because this is the BIGGEST Joe vehicle, one of the BIGGEST toys ever made, and the Holy Grail of GI Joe collecting…the mighty CVN-99, USS Flagg aircraft carrier!  Because I didn’t feel like stripping my carefully set-up dio, my Flagg will be reviewed as it sits.  Hopefully all the figures and vehicles sitting on it will help give you an idea of the massive size of this thing.


The USS Flagg!



Fully loaded!


Before I go further, I have to give mighty props to formbx257 for his fantastic review.  He beat me to the punch on this by a few years, and I initially said that I wouldn’t review the Flagg…mainly because I did not have it.  But, now I do, so consider this as more of a supplement to his review, and/or my impressions on it, than me trying to replace his review.  Also, his Flagg is the better looking one between the two of us, because his Flagg’s superstructure is much whiter and the stickers are much nicer and placed correctly.

So anyway, how about we start with some dimensions?  The USS Flagg measures 7 feet 7 inches long by 3 feet wide by 2 feet 9 inches tall.  For the metric conversion that’s 2.31 m long by .91 m wide by .84 m tall.  I’m considered a pretty tall guy, at 6 feet 4 inches tall (or 1.93 meters tall) and the Flagg dwarfs me in length.  My Flagg’s length led to an amusing anecdote when it was picked up, which I will share later.  Anyway, no matter how you slice/convert it, the Flagg is easily one of the most massive toys ever.  And as impressive as it may be in photos, trust me…it’s MUCH more impressive in person.


Despite its massive size, the Flagg actually has rather simple construction at its core.  The main flight deck comes split into four rather large pieces.  Those pieces are supported underneath by a system of interlocking plastic girders, and the large bow and stern sections.  The girders snap together by way of plastic tabs…if you own or have put together an ’83 Joe headquarters, the Flagg’s support structure snaps together the exact same way.  The deck pieces lock onto the girders with small, push-in clips that are among the tinier, more expensive pieces to replace.  On the far right side of the Flagg sit the elevator and the “island,” which consists of the Flagg’s bridge, radio room, weapons storage, and various access rooms.  The elevator is held into its support girders with metal pins on each end, which provide the strength to hold heavier Joe aircraft that might make the trip from the Flagg’s “hangar” deck and can be raised and lowered with some gentle pulling and pushing. On top of the island is the Flagg’s mast, which is brimming with various radar and communications antennae.  The island attaches to the flight deck with two small “Y” style pins that not only hold the island to the deck, they also provide realistic-looking tiedown points for the Flagg’s main deck.  The rear of the Flagg consists of one large piece that not only helps support the weight above it, it also doubles as a fairly realistic fantail for the ship. The Flagg includes a long, flexible plastic piece that slides into grooves along the port side and gives the appearance of the Flagg having a hull.  The starboard side gets no such disguises, and the girders are easily visible underneath.  This may put off some, but between the island and the elevator on the starboard side, a hull piece probably would not be very practical anyway. 



Yup, that’s all that’s underneath.


Snap all the girders together, carefully clip the deck pieces onto the supports, slide the island on and Y-pin it into place, and voila, you have the USS Flagg.  First-time assembly will take you a while, but once you do it a few times it becomes much easier.  Extreme care should be taken with the Y-pins, deck clips, and the tabs on the girders when assembling/disassembling the Flagg, as these parts are fairly fragile and easily broken…and trust me, with the massive weight of the deck pieces resting on them, the girders need all the support they can get!  Once assembled, the Flagg feels fairly sturdy.  I wouldn’t lie down on it or anything, but it feels plenty sturdy enough to fill the deck with figures and vehicles.  Just don’t expect to be able to pick it up and move it, as moving the Flagg anywhere other than a few inches each way WILL require disassembly.

The Flagg is a military vehicle, so of course it needs armament.  While the Flagg would definitely never be mistaken for an Iowa class battleship, it is decently armed for an aircraft carrier.  Even modern carriers rely mainly on the airpower they carry and the other ships in their battle group for protection.  What appear to be 5-inch guns (mounted on small turrets on the edges of the hanger deck) protect the port bow, and both sides of the stern.  The turrets have good range of motion, with 180 degree firing arcs, and can elevate their barrels almost straight up.  Just don’t let those attacking Morays get too close, as the turrets cannot lower the barrels enough to even ATTEMPT to aim at close-in threats.  There are two small fire-control radar dishes to help aim the guns…one dish is mounted on the starboard bow, directly across from the port turret.  The other is mounted on the fantail, giving direction to the rear turrets.  Finishing off the Flagg’s armament is a very large missile box, which is perched above the bridge.  While it has a good range of travel and can even face astern, those missiles cannot protect the Flagg’s stern.  Firing them astern would both take out some very critical navigation and communications gear and leave a big hole in the top rear portion of the bridge. 



A Gun



A Radar Dish...



The Fantail…



…and the Missile Launcher.

Ahh yes, the bridge.  The Flagg’s island by itself is larger than the majority of most playsets…Conquest of Cobra Mountain would be dwarfed, for example.  Though it is assembled in three, stackable main pieces, it basically consists of two stories, with three rooms in each.



The Flagg’s Island


The lower level has a Combat Information Center at its front, with various computers and a swivel chair for an operator.  The center room features racks for weapons storage, and the rear room is mainly an access room, with both a hatch to the flight deck and an internal ladder to the second floor (the CIC also has a ladder that leads directly to the bridge inside).



CIC



Storage and Access


Up top, the front room is of course the Flagg’s bridge, and features both a turning wheel, and various controls and consoles for the captain/admiral/Shipwreck to use from his/her swivel chair. There is also a ladder in the bridge to an imaginary upper level. The center room, which I believe would be a radar room, has both a large computer console and operator’s chair and an access hatch to the second level outside walkway. 



Main Bridge



Bridge from the front



Radar and Access


The walkway has room for several figures to stand on, and features a ladder up to a THIRD level walkway, above the bridge.  Unless you have them standing haphazardly on top of the bridge, this walkway is the highest point figures can stand on…but they’ll have a pretty good view.



The mast…is that a CJC Set I see??!!??


You would think a playset this massive would have a long list of play features, and the Flagg delivers.  Besides the aforementioned weaponry, there is a flip-up jet blast shield amidships, behind where a SkyStriker (or other Joe aircraft) would line up on the catapult system to launch.



The Blast Shield


The fairly large flight deck elevator can of course be raised and lowered, and just aft of it sit two small cranes which hold the (admittedly crappy looking) Admiral’s launch.  The crane arms can be flipped up and down to “launch” the boat, but they feel pretty floppy and fragile.  The giant radar dish on top of the bridge will rotate if you manually turn it.  There is a very nice crane aft of the bridge that can raise and lower its hook via a crank on the right side (and it has an access panel to perform “maintenance” on it too).  The crane’s nice, but I just wish it could raise and lower its arm, which is fixed in place. 



Admiral’s Launch



Crane


Right next to the crane, the arrestor cable system stretches across the flight deck.  The two arrestor cable supports have a long piece of black string in between them.  The string can be wound around the supports, and the Flagg comes with a yellow arrestor hook that will snap onto the back of a SkyStriker.  In this manner, you can fairly realistically “arrest” a SkyStriker coming in for a landing.  It’s a nice touch, and the arrestor hook WILL fit the 30th Anniversary SkyStriker.


Besides the crummy Admiral’s launch (seriously…would it have cost that much more to put a little outboard motor or something on it?) the Flagg also has two more auxiliary vehicles…a yellow tow tractor and a green fuel trailer.  The tow tractor can pull around either the fuel truck or an original SkyStriker, via the screw hole in the nose of the ‘Striker (doesn’t work with the 30th Anniversary one, though…no screw hole).  The fuel trailer has two fuel nozzles on its rear, which can be gently pulled to reveal a decent length of hose behind them.  Both of these little vehicles are neat touches, and add to the realism of the Flagg’s flight deck.



Tow Tractor



Fuel Trailer


There is one final, major play feature that my Flagg does not have.  The Flagg originally came with a small bullhorn/walkie-talkie setup that both played alarm noises and allowed you to “broadcast” your voice over the ship’s make-believe PA system.  The PA system is a commonly broken item, and I don’t miss it all that much.  I honestly doubt that I will ever pony up for a working one…unless the right deal comes along, of course. 


Ok, so, the highs for this thing?  Well, first off, it is just flat impressive.  I mean, we’re talking about a playset that is taller than just about every NBA player.  All that size means that it will hold a MASSIVE amount of vehicles and figures…if you want to see just how crazy a Flagg setup can get, look online at the pictures of the one Hasbro set up at SDCC last year.  You can have flight operations on the front and a massive battle on the back (complete with vehicles, there’s plenty of room!) if you so desire.  I also love the realistic carrier touches, like the jet blast shield, tow tractor, and arrestor system.  You also have to love the thought that went into the Flagg’s design, since it is set up to work perfectly with the SkyStriker…even though the SkyStriker was released two years before the Flagg!  The fact that the F-14 Tomcat was actually the US’s primary carrier strike aircraft when the Flagg was released is a great realistic bonus. 


Ok, so the Flagg’s lows?  There are actually quite a few.  The Flagg’s biggest high is also its biggest low: the massive size.  Seriously, you have no idea how huge this thing is until you see it with your own eyes.  Pictures do NOT do it justice.  So if you want one, you better have a GOOD amount of space set aside for it, and even more space if you actually want to be able to walk around it, put figures in the bridge, and set up aircraft and/or dios on it.  A proper setup with easy access to all areas of the Flagg can easily take up a whole room. A very large table in the center of a room is ideal…but unless you have a dedicated Joe room, live alone (like me!) or are currently single, good luck getting the significant other/roommates/parents to let you permanently borrow the dining room table to set up your Flagg.  Though technically you COULD eat your meals off the flight deck…trust me, it’s big enough.


Besides the massive size, the Flagg can also come with a massive price tag.  Good luck finding a mostly complete one for anything under $400, and cherry examples will run you at least a grand…and if MIB is your thing, get ready to drop the cost of a decent used car.  If you get a mostly incomplete one, the price tag WILL go up, because all of those tiny, hard-to-find parts like the deck clips, radar antennae, mast pieces, and arrestor cable supports will cost you QUITE the pretty penny.  Some parts run in the $50+ range, FOR A SINGLE PART.  Mostly complete is the way to go here.  In the case of some overly ridiculously priced/rare parts like the fantail railing, you also might want to get a good reproduction…but just because those reproductions exist, if you have to have a “real” part be sure you get it from a reputable dealer.


The Flagg is also considerably prone to yellowing, particularly the crane and the entire bridge section.  The bow and stern sections are also susceptible, though not as easy to notice because they are darker gray. Good luck acquiring enough peroxide to soak this sucker.  A chemist from Chemkitdepot.com has come up with a plastic-whitening solution and the site offers an option to send them your Flagg pieces and get them whitened for $50, but you have to pay to ship your extremely valuable and very large Flagg pieces to Dallas, Texas.  If you haven’t heard of this yet, it has been discussed extensively over at YoJoe. 


Finally, while the Flagg is massive and has some neat play features, don’t expect the absolute greatest toy/playset you’ve ever played with in your life.  The Defiant, TerrorDrome, Mobile Command Center, General and so forth are all arguably better toys/playsets. They can be easily moved from room to room, do NOT take up the whole room (well, ok, other than the Defiant) and all feature several levels of play.  Don’t expect a bunch of awesome rooms, storage, and inner carrier workings below the Flagg’s flight deck, because all that’s under there are plastic support girders.  At its core, the Flagg is basically a giant, aircraft carrier shaped plastic table with a ship’s bridge playset stuck on the side of it.  If you can accept the Flagg for what it is, you will enjoy it.  If you expect the most awesome, feature-loaded toy in all of GI Joe-dom, well…you’ll probably be a bit disappointed.


It may sound like I’m trying to discourage people from buying a Flagg…the opposite is true.  I just want to paint a realistic picture of the thing, and let those “on the fence” about it know the reality of the situation.  I wouldn’t trade my Flagg for anything, but I will be brutally honest about its shortcomings.  The last thing I want is for someone to read my review, go spend a ton of money on a Flagg, and then be disappointed by it.  That’s not good for the collector OR the hobby.


All that being said, owning a Flagg is an experience.  I liken it to owning a beautifully restored or overly ridiculous car…the dropped jaws, disbelieving curses, and giddy excitement it causes can be worth all that time and money.  As I said, pictures don’t do it justice.  The scale HAS to be seen to be believed.  I’ve shown several people multiple pictures of the Flagg, including one of me laying on the floor next to it for scale purposes.  Then those same people come in my house for the first time, and every single one has dropped his or her jaw and said “HOLY S#&T!!!!” followed by exclamations of how incredibly huge the thing is and how the pics didn’t do it justice.  I don’t care who you are, how young or old you are, how crotchety or jaded you are, if you love or hate GI Joe…you cannot help but be impressed by the Flagg.

And that, to me, is worth the price of admission.



The Flagg…and your humble author.
 

12
General Joe Talk / In Rough Times...
« on: February 28, 2012, 11:58:31 PM »
Hey guys, I posted a couple of reviews on the site tonight, and they're the first in a while, I know.  I also know that many of you love to read my reviews, and I appreciate your kind comments and positive feedback over the past few years that I've been on this site.  You Canucks have made a Texan feel right at home, and I've made some fantastic friends/trading partners/etc thanks to JoeCanuck. 

It seems that the older we get and the higher we get promoted, the more family and job responsibilities take us away from the hobbies we love.  I love GI Joe.  While I fell in love with it later than a lot of you, it has remained one of my favorite hobbies through the years. 

Anyway, I posted those reviews and will most likely post more soon because as much as increased responsibilities seem to take us all away from the hobbies you love, turning to those hobbies in rough times can take your mind off the rough times and give you joy...especially when you are fortunate enough to be in the position I am in, where my review-writing gives joy to others. 

My rough times are related to my Dad, Earl Rogers Parker.  While I am only 31, I am the product of a late-life remarriage for my father.  My Dad is currently 87 years old, and will be 88 on May 11.  As I write this, he is in a veterans' hospital in San Antonio, TX with a combination of fluid buildup throughout his body, pneumonia, and a blood infection. 

As much joy as GI Joe brings us and as much fun as the toys are to play with, when it comes down to it they are truly based on the real soldiers that have proudly served their country in times of war.  My Dad could very easily be a real-life GI Joe.  He served in World War II as a .30 caliber machine gunner, Company M, 16th Infantry Regiment of the First Division...the famed Big Red One.  On June 6, 1944, he was part of the assault team in the first wave that stormed Omaha Beach in Normandy, and one of the very few first-wavers to make it through unscathed.  Dad almost drowned in the English Channel when their landing craft's coxswain noticed the Germans pumping 88mm shells and machine-gunning into the landing craft in front of theirs as soon as those craft dropped their ramps.  The coxswain got scared and dropped their ramp early, leaving Dad and his buddies to plunge into water well over their heads.

Dad dropped his machine gun, his helmet, his pack...everything but his M1911 .45 ACP, because he couldn't get his pistol belt off.  He still almost drowned, and many of his friends did.  As he finally made it onto the beach, he saw a guy in his company, a great big bull of a man who Dad describes as strong as a team of oxen, get stitched across his front with German machine gun fire.  That big bull of a man kept running like nothing had happened to him, until the life finally left him and he dropped stone dead on the beach.

Despite being greatly disorganized, dispirited, and disarmed for the most part, the soldiers on Omaha eventually fought their way up the cliffs and bluffs.  The troops Dad were with captured a German pillbox, and several guys led German prisoners out.  These were the first Germans Dad had seen up close, so he was understandably nervous.  Dad drew his previously waterlogged .45, intending to help cover the Germans, but he started shaking.  A guy from his company who was by this time a veteran of Africa and Sicily looked at him and said, "Parker, put that God damn gun away before you either shoot one of us or squirt water on those poor Germans!"  Dad complied. 

Dad fought with the Big Red One through France, Belgium, and into Germany.  Along the way, his group got the Bronze Star for helping to rescue the crew of an American bomber that went down close to them.  They fought off a German team sent to capture the bomber's crew.  One of the pilots gave Dad his leather bomber jacket as a token of gratitude. 

In Aachen, Germany, the Big Red One was engaged in building-to-building fighting, as this was the first German city the Allies had attacked, and the Germans were determined to hold it.  Dad and several of his buddies had taken refuge in the basement of a house when they heard a shell coming in.  Knowing the sound of a close shell, they all took cover.  The shell crashed through the roof of the house, all the floors above them, and into the basement with them.  Thinking it was a delayed fuse, they hauled butt out of the basement, and encountered an Explosive Ordnance Disposal engineer walking by.  After informing him of the shell, the EOD guy had them lead him to the basement.  He walked downstairs, examined the shell, and to my Dad's great consternation, kicked the shell.  The EOD guy explained that it was obviously a dud, or else I would not be sitting here typing this, among other things.

On November 18, 1944 (ironically enough my birthday) in the Huertgen Forest in Germany, Dad was wounded by a tree burst.  If you've ever watched Band of Brothers you've probably seen the episode where Easy Company helps hold the line at Bastogne.  At both Bastogne and the Huertgen Forest, the Germans set their artillery to go off in the trees, so not only did Allied soldiers have to deal with the shrapnel from the artillery, they ALSO had to deal with deadly flying pieces of tree, some of which got my Dad.  Besides the insult of being wounded, Dad also lost the various war trophies he had gathered during his trip across Europe...everything from German insignia and medals to genuine Lugers to that prized, hard-earned bomber jacket, which probably hurt the worst. 
   
On Thanksgiving Day, 1944 Dad was recuperating in the hospital in Liege, Belgium when it was hit by a German V1 Buzz Bomb.  While not wounded, he was evacuated to England.  Upon recovery, Dad was fortunate enough to be reassigned to SHAEF, where he remained for the rest of the European campaign.  While there, he was walking by the train station when a train let off steam.  The sound was just like the sound an incoming shell makes, and Dad quickly dove in a ditch for cover, and just as quickly realized what was really happening.  Sheepishly, he dusted himself off while looking around and hoping no one noticed.

On May 7, 1945 Dad got to watch German General Alfred Jodl and his delegation goose-step into SHAEF Headquarters in Reims, France to officially and unconditionally surrender Germany to the Allies.  While many cheered, Dad cried.  When asked why he was crying, he replied that he had lost so many good friends in the war to that point, that he was so happy that no more needed to die in Europe. 

As you can probably tell from all this, my Dad is my biggest hero.  Besides being a great, unassuming American war hero, he is a kind, gentle man who many, MANY people think very highly of.  I hope that when I am his age, I have close to that many people think that highly of me.  While he is definitely MY hero, he is an uncommon hero, as I know hundreds of thousands of Americans, Canadians, and British have a father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife, uncle, aunt, cousin or other family member who has proudly served his or her country in wartime, from World War I to the War on Terror. 

As I said at the beginning...we are all fans of GI Joe and military toys, but our toys and imaginary heroes should serve to remind us of the TRUE heroes out there that give us the basis for our imaginary heroes.  We should also remember that those heroes and hobbies give us great things, from simple distractions to very true friends, that we can turn to in difficult times. 

Sharing his story with you, my friends, seemed the easiest way to take my mind off his current plight and to honor him.  Your thoughts and prayers for my family are appreciated in this difficult time.  I am adding two pictures...one of my Dad in 1945, and one of his medals.  When Dad took had the picture of himself taken, he proudly sent it home to my grandparents, thinking they would be thrilled with such a handsome photo.

My grandmother cried for hours upon receiving the photo because of how skinny and how terrible my Dad looked, in her opinion.

If any of you have similar stories, I would love to hear them.  Yo. Joe.



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