JoeCanuck

With the good news last week of my Dad getting released from the hospital came some bad.  While I was back home helping Mom some thieving bastards decided to break into my house.  While I was very fortunate and did not lose much, it still quickly adds up dollar wise...and it makes me furious.  I lost my room tv/computer monitor (a 32" LED), a bunch of tool sets (that's the one that really pisses me off) and an extra PS3.  Not much in the big picture, but definitely enough.  Anyway, here are some tips that I will pass on.  While I hope none of you need them, they are good reminders anyway...

1. Photograph all of your valuables.  For electronics, photograph the front and turn them around and take a zoomed-in photo of the back, capturing the model and serial numbers.  Thanks to a discussion I had a while back with a detective, I did this, and I stand a greater chance of getting the thieves caught/my stuff back if they try to pawn it.  I also have an easier time proving to insurance what I had.

2. Take those same pics with your cell phone camera and back them up to multiple devices.  If you take them with a digital camera and stick it in a drawer, guess what: it'll probably be gone too.  Your cell phone will most likely be on your person and thus will probably not end up stolen...you can also have the information easily at hand for the police.

3. If at all possible, make the deadbolt on your house's back door key-only from the INSIDE as well as the out.  While a slight pain in the butt to have to have your keys on you to open the door, having my door this way most likely saved my larger possessions, because the thieves couldn't get the back door open to easily haul stuff out. 

4. If you do suffer from a break-in, don't disturb the crime scene if at all possible even after the patrol officers leave, preferably for at least a day.  I got a follow-up visit from some detectives and the CSI unit the next morning.

5. Have your alarm checked every other month.  If you have a room with a glassbreak/vibration sensor, leave the door open so it stands a greater chance of picking up a break-in that does not happen in the room with the sensor.  Make sure you have enough motion sensors to cover every route through the house.

6. Exterior lighting is your friend.  The very week that my back porch light went out (I tried to replace it before I left, but the fixture itself was bad) was the week that my house got broken into.  Now, besides a brighter, working back porch light the rear of my house also spots a motion-sensor LED spotlight that can probably be viewed from space.

7. If you rent your place, for Heaven's sake get renter's insurance.  It's usually available from the same people you get your car insurance from (and you will probably get a discount on it as a package deal).  Mine costs me just $40 a year.  The value of stuff I lost from a SMALL break-in was $2000.  It just paid for itself many times over.

8. Never make it obvious that you're leaving for a while.  I seriously believe that I was being watched.  Wheeling a big suitcase out to your car is like staking a sign in the front yard announcing that you will be gone for several days.  Pack and load your car the day before you are supposed to leave, if you can...and it's easier to find items you would have otherwise forgotten to take with you that way, too.

9. An engraving tool will cost you around $25 at a home improvement center.  Using it to engrave your initials on items like tools will make the thieves less likely to steal them and increase your recovery chances, too.  It's hard for a pawn shop to deny that the tools in the tool box that just happen to have your initials engraved on them are yours. 

10. While not an option for me, the police told me that a dog is just about the best theft deterrent there is.  It doesn't necessarily have to be a pit bull or a rottweiler either.

While I seriously hope none of you ever need my tips, I hope I have at least given you food for thought and made you reevaluate your home security system.

Mine was only missing one Y-pin, one radar dish antenna, and one of the arrestor cable supports was broken.  I managed to get good deals on the cable and the Y-pin and went the repro route on the antenna.  Thankfully the mast had all of its caps and antennae because I know that gets expensive quick. 

Oh yeah, and I got an unyellowed, almost complete SkyStriker (-1 big & 1 small missile) out of the deal too.

LMAO at Sundance.  "Ddaaadddd why can't we play with your toys?  We'll let you play with OURS!!!!!" That'll be a toughie.

Which vehicle should we do first?

I don't think it matters.  If you have a vehicle that was a favorite, that you picked up in a neat way, or that you had to go through a bunch of trials & tribulations before finally getting, let Mike know about it!

Vintage Review – USS Flagg Aircraft Carrier!


The Highs:  Frigging HUGE, WOW factor, will hold a ton of figures/vehicles, Holy Grail of the Joe line.

The Lows:  Huge toy means huge space requirements, expensive, many small, easy-to-lose, fragile and expensive parts, basically a table with a tower.

The Verdict:  If you have the means, the room, and the desire, the dropped jaws alone are worth the price of admission

I’ve done some big reviews.  I’ve done the TerrorDrome, the General, the Mobile Command Center…the list goes on, to some of the largest vehicles and playsets ever offered in the history of toys.  I’ve reviewed some of the most unique and iconic vehicles the line has to offer.  I’ve reviewed some of the rarest Joe stuff out there.  But THIS is by far the BIGGEST review I could EVER do, because this is the BIGGEST Joe vehicle, one of the BIGGEST toys ever made, and the Holy Grail of GI Joe collecting…the mighty CVN-99, USS Flagg aircraft carrier!  Because I didn’t feel like stripping my carefully set-up dio, my Flagg will be reviewed as it sits.  Hopefully all the figures and vehicles sitting on it will help give you an idea of the massive size of this thing.


The USS Flagg!



Fully loaded!


Before I go further, I have to give mighty props to formbx257 for his fantastic review.  He beat me to the punch on this by a few years, and I initially said that I wouldn’t review the Flagg…mainly because I did not have it.  But, now I do, so consider this as more of a supplement to his review, and/or my impressions on it, than me trying to replace his review.  Also, his Flagg is the better looking one between the two of us, because his Flagg’s superstructure is much whiter and the stickers are much nicer and placed correctly.

So anyway, how about we start with some dimensions?  The USS Flagg measures 7 feet 7 inches long by 3 feet wide by 2 feet 9 inches tall.  For the metric conversion that’s 2.31 m long by .91 m wide by .84 m tall.  I’m considered a pretty tall guy, at 6 feet 4 inches tall (or 1.93 meters tall) and the Flagg dwarfs me in length.  My Flagg’s length led to an amusing anecdote when it was picked up, which I will share later.  Anyway, no matter how you slice/convert it, the Flagg is easily one of the most massive toys ever.  And as impressive as it may be in photos, trust me…it’s MUCH more impressive in person.


Despite its massive size, the Flagg actually has rather simple construction at its core.  The main flight deck comes split into four rather large pieces.  Those pieces are supported underneath by a system of interlocking plastic girders, and the large bow and stern sections.  The girders snap together by way of plastic tabs…if you own or have put together an ’83 Joe headquarters, the Flagg’s support structure snaps together the exact same way.  The deck pieces lock onto the girders with small, push-in clips that are among the tinier, more expensive pieces to replace.  On the far right side of the Flagg sit the elevator and the “island,” which consists of the Flagg’s bridge, radio room, weapons storage, and various access rooms.  The elevator is held into its support girders with metal pins on each end, which provide the strength to hold heavier Joe aircraft that might make the trip from the Flagg’s “hangar” deck and can be raised and lowered with some gentle pulling and pushing. On top of the island is the Flagg’s mast, which is brimming with various radar and communications antennae.  The island attaches to the flight deck with two small “Y” style pins that not only hold the island to the deck, they also provide realistic-looking tiedown points for the Flagg’s main deck.  The rear of the Flagg consists of one large piece that not only helps support the weight above it, it also doubles as a fairly realistic fantail for the ship. The Flagg includes a long, flexible plastic piece that slides into grooves along the port side and gives the appearance of the Flagg having a hull.  The starboard side gets no such disguises, and the girders are easily visible underneath.  This may put off some, but between the island and the elevator on the starboard side, a hull piece probably would not be very practical anyway. 



Yup, that’s all that’s underneath.


Snap all the girders together, carefully clip the deck pieces onto the supports, slide the island on and Y-pin it into place, and voila, you have the USS Flagg.  First-time assembly will take you a while, but once you do it a few times it becomes much easier.  Extreme care should be taken with the Y-pins, deck clips, and the tabs on the girders when assembling/disassembling the Flagg, as these parts are fairly fragile and easily broken…and trust me, with the massive weight of the deck pieces resting on them, the girders need all the support they can get!  Once assembled, the Flagg feels fairly sturdy.  I wouldn’t lie down on it or anything, but it feels plenty sturdy enough to fill the deck with figures and vehicles.  Just don’t expect to be able to pick it up and move it, as moving the Flagg anywhere other than a few inches each way WILL require disassembly.

The Flagg is a military vehicle, so of course it needs armament.  While the Flagg would definitely never be mistaken for an Iowa class battleship, it is decently armed for an aircraft carrier.  Even modern carriers rely mainly on the airpower they carry and the other ships in their battle group for protection.  What appear to be 5-inch guns (mounted on small turrets on the edges of the hanger deck) protect the port bow, and both sides of the stern.  The turrets have good range of motion, with 180 degree firing arcs, and can elevate their barrels almost straight up.  Just don’t let those attacking Morays get too close, as the turrets cannot lower the barrels enough to even ATTEMPT to aim at close-in threats.  There are two small fire-control radar dishes to help aim the guns…one dish is mounted on the starboard bow, directly across from the port turret.  The other is mounted on the fantail, giving direction to the rear turrets.  Finishing off the Flagg’s armament is a very large missile box, which is perched above the bridge.  While it has a good range of travel and can even face astern, those missiles cannot protect the Flagg’s stern.  Firing them astern would both take out some very critical navigation and communications gear and leave a big hole in the top rear portion of the bridge. 



A Gun…



A Radar Dish...



The Fantail…



…and the Missile Launcher.

Ahh yes, the bridge.  The Flagg’s island by itself is larger than the majority of most playsets…Conquest of Cobra Mountain would be dwarfed, for example.  Though it is assembled in three, stackable main pieces, it basically consists of two stories, with three rooms in each.



The Flagg’s Island


The lower level has a Combat Information Center at its front, with various computers and a swivel chair for an operator.  The center room features racks for weapons storage, and the rear room is mainly an access room, with both a hatch to the flight deck and an internal ladder to the second floor (the CIC also has a ladder that leads directly to the bridge inside).



CIC



Storage and Access


Up top, the front room is of course the Flagg’s bridge, and features both a turning wheel, and various controls and consoles for the captain/admiral/Shipwreck to use from his/her swivel chair. There is also a ladder in the bridge to an imaginary upper level. The center room, which I believe would be a radar room, has both a large computer console and operator’s chair and an access hatch to the second level outside walkway. 



Main Bridge



Bridge from the front



Radar and Access


The walkway has room for several figures to stand on, and features a ladder up to a THIRD level walkway, above the bridge.  Unless you have them standing haphazardly on top of the bridge, this walkway is the highest point figures can stand on…but they’ll have a pretty good view.



The mast…is that a CJC Set I see??!!??


You would think a playset this massive would have a long list of play features, and the Flagg delivers.  Besides the aforementioned weaponry, there is a flip-up jet blast shield amidships, behind where a SkyStriker (or other Joe aircraft) would line up on the catapult system to launch.



The Blast Shield


The fairly large flight deck elevator can of course be raised and lowered, and just aft of it sit two small cranes which hold the (admittedly crappy looking) Admiral’s launch.  The crane arms can be flipped up and down to “launch” the boat, but they feel pretty floppy and fragile.  The giant radar dish on top of the bridge will rotate if you manually turn it.  There is a very nice crane aft of the bridge that can raise and lower its hook via a crank on the right side (and it has an access panel to perform “maintenance” on it too).  The crane’s nice, but I just wish it could raise and lower its arm, which is fixed in place. 



Admiral’s Launch



Crane


Right next to the crane, the arrestor cable system stretches across the flight deck.  The two arrestor cable supports have a long piece of black string in between them.  The string can be wound around the supports, and the Flagg comes with a yellow arrestor hook that will snap onto the back of a SkyStriker.  In this manner, you can fairly realistically “arrest” a SkyStriker coming in for a landing.  It’s a nice touch, and the arrestor hook WILL fit the 30th Anniversary SkyStriker.


Besides the crummy Admiral’s launch (seriously…would it have cost that much more to put a little outboard motor or something on it?) the Flagg also has two more auxiliary vehicles…a yellow tow tractor and a green fuel trailer.  The tow tractor can pull around either the fuel truck or an original SkyStriker, via the screw hole in the nose of the ‘Striker (doesn’t work with the 30th Anniversary one, though…no screw hole).  The fuel trailer has two fuel nozzles on its rear, which can be gently pulled to reveal a decent length of hose behind them.  Both of these little vehicles are neat touches, and add to the realism of the Flagg’s flight deck.



Tow Tractor



Fuel Trailer


There is one final, major play feature that my Flagg does not have.  The Flagg originally came with a small bullhorn/walkie-talkie setup that both played alarm noises and allowed you to “broadcast” your voice over the ship’s make-believe PA system.  The PA system is a commonly broken item, and I don’t miss it all that much.  I honestly doubt that I will ever pony up for a working one…unless the right deal comes along, of course. 


Ok, so, the highs for this thing?  Well, first off, it is just flat impressive.  I mean, we’re talking about a playset that is taller than just about every NBA player.  All that size means that it will hold a MASSIVE amount of vehicles and figures…if you want to see just how crazy a Flagg setup can get, look online at the pictures of the one Hasbro set up at SDCC last year.  You can have flight operations on the front and a massive battle on the back (complete with vehicles, there’s plenty of room!) if you so desire.  I also love the realistic carrier touches, like the jet blast shield, tow tractor, and arrestor system.  You also have to love the thought that went into the Flagg’s design, since it is set up to work perfectly with the SkyStriker…even though the SkyStriker was released two years before the Flagg!  The fact that the F-14 Tomcat was actually the US’s primary carrier strike aircraft when the Flagg was released is a great realistic bonus. 


Ok, so the Flagg’s lows?  There are actually quite a few.  The Flagg’s biggest high is also its biggest low: the massive size.  Seriously, you have no idea how huge this thing is until you see it with your own eyes.  Pictures do NOT do it justice.  So if you want one, you better have a GOOD amount of space set aside for it, and even more space if you actually want to be able to walk around it, put figures in the bridge, and set up aircraft and/or dios on it.  A proper setup with easy access to all areas of the Flagg can easily take up a whole room. A very large table in the center of a room is ideal…but unless you have a dedicated Joe room, live alone (like me!) or are currently single, good luck getting the significant other/roommates/parents to let you permanently borrow the dining room table to set up your Flagg.  Though technically you COULD eat your meals off the flight deck…trust me, it’s big enough.


Besides the massive size, the Flagg can also come with a massive price tag.  Good luck finding a mostly complete one for anything under $400, and cherry examples will run you at least a grand…and if MIB is your thing, get ready to drop the cost of a decent used car.  If you get a mostly incomplete one, the price tag WILL go up, because all of those tiny, hard-to-find parts like the deck clips, radar antennae, mast pieces, and arrestor cable supports will cost you QUITE the pretty penny.  Some parts run in the $50+ range, FOR A SINGLE PART.  Mostly complete is the way to go here.  In the case of some overly ridiculously priced/rare parts like the fantail railing, you also might want to get a good reproduction…but just because those reproductions exist, if you have to have a “real” part be sure you get it from a reputable dealer.


The Flagg is also considerably prone to yellowing, particularly the crane and the entire bridge section.  The bow and stern sections are also susceptible, though not as easy to notice because they are darker gray. Good luck acquiring enough peroxide to soak this sucker.  A chemist from Chemkitdepot.com has come up with a plastic-whitening solution and the site offers an option to send them your Flagg pieces and get them whitened for $50, but you have to pay to ship your extremely valuable and very large Flagg pieces to Dallas, Texas.  If you haven’t heard of this yet, it has been discussed extensively over at YoJoe. 


Finally, while the Flagg is massive and has some neat play features, don’t expect the absolute greatest toy/playset you’ve ever played with in your life.  The Defiant, TerrorDrome, Mobile Command Center, General and so forth are all arguably better toys/playsets. They can be easily moved from room to room, do NOT take up the whole room (well, ok, other than the Defiant) and all feature several levels of play.  Don’t expect a bunch of awesome rooms, storage, and inner carrier workings below the Flagg’s flight deck, because all that’s under there are plastic support girders.  At its core, the Flagg is basically a giant, aircraft carrier shaped plastic table with a ship’s bridge playset stuck on the side of it.  If you can accept the Flagg for what it is, you will enjoy it.  If you expect the most awesome, feature-loaded toy in all of GI Joe-dom, well…you’ll probably be a bit disappointed.


It may sound like I’m trying to discourage people from buying a Flagg…the opposite is true.  I just want to paint a realistic picture of the thing, and let those “on the fence” about it know the reality of the situation.  I wouldn’t trade my Flagg for anything, but I will be brutally honest about its shortcomings.  The last thing I want is for someone to read my review, go spend a ton of money on a Flagg, and then be disappointed by it.  That’s not good for the collector OR the hobby.


All that being said, owning a Flagg is an experience.  I liken it to owning a beautifully restored or overly ridiculous car…the dropped jaws, disbelieving curses, and giddy excitement it causes can be worth all that time and money.  As I said, pictures don’t do it justice.  The scale HAS to be seen to be believed.  I’ve shown several people multiple pictures of the Flagg, including one of me laying on the floor next to it for scale purposes.  Then those same people come in my house for the first time, and every single one has dropped his or her jaw and said “HOLY S#&T!!!!” followed by exclamations of how incredibly huge the thing is and how the pics didn’t do it justice.  I don’t care who you are, how young or old you are, how crotchety or jaded you are, if you love or hate GI Joe…you cannot help but be impressed by the Flagg.

And that, to me, is worth the price of admission.



The Flagg…and your humble author.
 

Hey guys, I posted a couple of reviews on the site tonight, and they're the first in a while, I know.  I also know that many of you love to read my reviews, and I appreciate your kind comments and positive feedback over the past few years that I've been on this site.  You Canucks have made a Texan feel right at home, and I've made some fantastic friends/trading partners/etc thanks to JoeCanuck. 

It seems that the older we get and the higher we get promoted, the more family and job responsibilities take us away from the hobbies we love.  I love GI Joe.  While I fell in love with it later than a lot of you, it has remained one of my favorite hobbies through the years. 

Anyway, I posted those reviews and will most likely post more soon because as much as increased responsibilities seem to take us all away from the hobbies you love, turning to those hobbies in rough times can take your mind off the rough times and give you joy...especially when you are fortunate enough to be in the position I am in, where my review-writing gives joy to others. 

My rough times are related to my Dad, Earl Rogers Parker.  While I am only 31, I am the product of a late-life remarriage for my father.  My Dad is currently 87 years old, and will be 88 on May 11.  As I write this, he is in a veterans' hospital in San Antonio, TX with a combination of fluid buildup throughout his body, pneumonia, and a blood infection. 

As much joy as GI Joe brings us and as much fun as the toys are to play with, when it comes down to it they are truly based on the real soldiers that have proudly served their country in times of war.  My Dad could very easily be a real-life GI Joe.  He served in World War II as a .30 caliber machine gunner, Company M, 16th Infantry Regiment of the First Division...the famed Big Red One.  On June 6, 1944, he was part of the assault team in the first wave that stormed Omaha Beach in Normandy, and one of the very few first-wavers to make it through unscathed.  Dad almost drowned in the English Channel when their landing craft's coxswain noticed the Germans pumping 88mm shells and machine-gunning into the landing craft in front of theirs as soon as those craft dropped their ramps.  The coxswain got scared and dropped their ramp early, leaving Dad and his buddies to plunge into water well over their heads.

Dad dropped his machine gun, his helmet, his pack...everything but his M1911 .45 ACP, because he couldn't get his pistol belt off.  He still almost drowned, and many of his friends did.  As he finally made it onto the beach, he saw a guy in his company, a great big bull of a man who Dad describes as strong as a team of oxen, get stitched across his front with German machine gun fire.  That big bull of a man kept running like nothing had happened to him, until the life finally left him and he dropped stone dead on the beach.

Despite being greatly disorganized, dispirited, and disarmed for the most part, the soldiers on Omaha eventually fought their way up the cliffs and bluffs.  The troops Dad were with captured a German pillbox, and several guys led German prisoners out.  These were the first Germans Dad had seen up close, so he was understandably nervous.  Dad drew his previously waterlogged .45, intending to help cover the Germans, but he started shaking.  A guy from his company who was by this time a veteran of Africa and Sicily looked at him and said, "Parker, put that God damn gun away before you either shoot one of us or squirt water on those poor Germans!"  Dad complied. 

Dad fought with the Big Red One through France, Belgium, and into Germany.  Along the way, his group got the Bronze Star for helping to rescue the crew of an American bomber that went down close to them.  They fought off a German team sent to capture the bomber's crew.  One of the pilots gave Dad his leather bomber jacket as a token of gratitude. 

In Aachen, Germany, the Big Red One was engaged in building-to-building fighting, as this was the first German city the Allies had attacked, and the Germans were determined to hold it.  Dad and several of his buddies had taken refuge in the basement of a house when they heard a shell coming in.  Knowing the sound of a close shell, they all took cover.  The shell crashed through the roof of the house, all the floors above them, and into the basement with them.  Thinking it was a delayed fuse, they hauled butt out of the basement, and encountered an Explosive Ordnance Disposal engineer walking by.  After informing him of the shell, the EOD guy had them lead him to the basement.  He walked downstairs, examined the shell, and to my Dad's great consternation, kicked the shell.  The EOD guy explained that it was obviously a dud, or else I would not be sitting here typing this, among other things.

On November 18, 1944 (ironically enough my birthday) in the Huertgen Forest in Germany, Dad was wounded by a tree burst.  If you've ever watched Band of Brothers you've probably seen the episode where Easy Company helps hold the line at Bastogne.  At both Bastogne and the Huertgen Forest, the Germans set their artillery to go off in the trees, so not only did Allied soldiers have to deal with the shrapnel from the artillery, they ALSO had to deal with deadly flying pieces of tree, some of which got my Dad.  Besides the insult of being wounded, Dad also lost the various war trophies he had gathered during his trip across Europe...everything from German insignia and medals to genuine Lugers to that prized, hard-earned bomber jacket, which probably hurt the worst. 
   
On Thanksgiving Day, 1944 Dad was recuperating in the hospital in Liege, Belgium when it was hit by a German V1 Buzz Bomb.  While not wounded, he was evacuated to England.  Upon recovery, Dad was fortunate enough to be reassigned to SHAEF, where he remained for the rest of the European campaign.  While there, he was walking by the train station when a train let off steam.  The sound was just like the sound an incoming shell makes, and Dad quickly dove in a ditch for cover, and just as quickly realized what was really happening.  Sheepishly, he dusted himself off while looking around and hoping no one noticed.

On May 7, 1945 Dad got to watch German General Alfred Jodl and his delegation goose-step into SHAEF Headquarters in Reims, France to officially and unconditionally surrender Germany to the Allies.  While many cheered, Dad cried.  When asked why he was crying, he replied that he had lost so many good friends in the war to that point, that he was so happy that no more needed to die in Europe. 

As you can probably tell from all this, my Dad is my biggest hero.  Besides being a great, unassuming American war hero, he is a kind, gentle man who many, MANY people think very highly of.  I hope that when I am his age, I have close to that many people think that highly of me.  While he is definitely MY hero, he is an uncommon hero, as I know hundreds of thousands of Americans, Canadians, and British have a father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife, uncle, aunt, cousin or other family member who has proudly served his or her country in wartime, from World War I to the War on Terror. 

As I said at the beginning...we are all fans of GI Joe and military toys, but our toys and imaginary heroes should serve to remind us of the TRUE heroes out there that give us the basis for our imaginary heroes.  We should also remember that those heroes and hobbies give us great things, from simple distractions to very true friends, that we can turn to in difficult times. 

Sharing his story with you, my friends, seemed the easiest way to take my mind off his current plight and to honor him.  Your thoughts and prayers for my family are appreciated in this difficult time.  I am adding two pictures...one of my Dad in 1945, and one of his medals.  When Dad took had the picture of himself taken, he proudly sent it home to my grandparents, thinking they would be thrilled with such a handsome photo.

My grandmother cried for hours upon receiving the photo because of how skinny and how terrible my Dad looked, in her opinion.

If any of you have similar stories, I would love to hear them.  Yo. Joe.