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General Section => General Joe Talk => Topic started by: olyeller01 on August 02, 2009, 02:43:01 PM

Title: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: olyeller01 on August 02, 2009, 02:43:01 PM
I got this crazy idea for a new thread...we all know that Cobra forces consist of various types of Vipers.  Their names are usually descriptive of their military specialty (ex. Alley Vipers are urban combat, Strato-Vipers fly the Night Ravens) etc.  So what kind of Viper would you be, given your current profession?

olyeller01 is a Paint-Viper.

Cobra, being the international terrorist organization that it is, has significant infrastructure and investment in both buildings and vehicles.  Paint-Vipers ensure that all of those buildings and all of those vehicles stay protected with the latest in paint and coatings technology, ensuring that Cobra's investment in material will last - at least until the next SkyStriker bombing run.

Paint-Vipers use airless paint sprayer technology to finely atomize the paint.  The 3000+ PSI stream that the sprayer puts out can also double as a weapon in a pinch.

Being the villainous and international organization that it is, Cobra only uses paints and coatings from ICI.  This is in direct contrast to GI Joe, which has an exclusive government contract with Sherwin-Williams  :wink:
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: latinjoe22 on August 02, 2009, 04:50:59 PM
I would be an Infra-Viper :). "Infra" for infrastructure". An Infra-Viper would actually have the same basic combat training as vipers but its real weapon is the ability to master any form of tool and construction machinery and undertake building infrastructure projects for Cobra. In addition to their basic combat and engineering training ( common ground to Techno-Vipers ), Infra-Vipers must also undergo native and indigenous language learning to assimilate all the traditional ways of building in their immediate environment ( by "recruiting" local advisories ) and be able to adapt the building to the foreign climatic, geographic, seismic conditions of a new construction site. If not approached by the right professionals, a construction site may pose an actual threat to Cobra, possibly even bigger than the financial losses to Gi joe in combat each year!
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: dodge822 on August 02, 2009, 05:20:01 PM
i would be a welda-viper.
welda-vipers have the same basic training as the infantry vipers, only our masks are designed especially for us to do welding, our backpacks are actually portable welders, to repair that armour on the fly.
Welda-vipers are very important, because hey cobra commander needs someone to build his hiss tanks, and planes, as he destroys them so fast.
And who else is gonna weld detros bats for him.
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: Canuklehead on August 03, 2009, 11:50:04 AM
Couch-Potatra-Viper. We watch the Commander's TV for him
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: pdaat on August 03, 2009, 01:08:16 PM
Superviper.  Send out schedules and watch other people work.
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: olyeller01 on August 03, 2009, 02:35:55 PM
Quote from: "pdaat"
Superviper.  Send out schedules and watch other people work.

Wouldn't that be Boss Viper, Manager-Viper, or Michael Viper?  (Couldn't resist an Office joke).
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: pdaat on August 03, 2009, 03:18:12 PM
Quote from: "olyeller01"
Quote from: "pdaat"
Superviper.  Send out schedules and watch other people work.

Wouldn't that be Boss Viper, Manager-Viper, or Michael Viper?  (Couldn't resist an Office joke).

Those would be the next level in management.
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: olyeller01 on August 03, 2009, 06:15:43 PM
Quote from: "pdaat"
Those would be the next level in management.

So, pdaat, are you an assistant manager like myself?  An occupation that could also probably be better described as B**ch-Viper?  I have to mind the store while my Boss-Viper goes out on "sales calls" (playing golf, going to lunch, or riding around with our sales reps meeting with customers).  And whenever something goes wrong and I'm not around, guess who gets the blame?
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: dodge822 on August 03, 2009, 06:20:46 PM
so being the paint-viper, you get to see all the tanks i build, before the commander does, so i would hope you tell me if their is something wrong, lol
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: olyeller01 on August 03, 2009, 06:39:30 PM
Quote from: "dodge822"
so being the paint-viper, you get to see all the tanks i build, before the commander does, so i would hope you tell me if their is something wrong, lol

Yeah, and all the orange peel on the finish is because of the Welda-Viper's crappy welds.  Or so I'd tell the Commander anyway  ;D
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: pdaat on August 03, 2009, 07:05:20 PM
Quote from: "olyeller01"
Quote from: "pdaat"
Those would be the next level in management.

So, pdaat, are you an assistant manager like myself?  An occupation that could also probably be better described as B**ch-Viper?  I have to mind the store while my Boss-Viper goes out on "sales calls" (playing golf, going to lunch, or riding around with our sales reps meeting with customers).  And whenever something goes wrong and I'm not around, guess who gets the blame?
Sort of.  I am a supervisor at a food plant.  I certainly don't get much perks, but it sounds like I have it a little better than you.  Sounds like you work in retail - there are a lot more perks to be had there (if you are higher up in the chain of command I guess).

But yeah, its our job to catch crap when things go wrong - but so does my boss.
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: martin-montreal on August 05, 2009, 10:37:30 PM
Audit-Vipers... To be sure the Extensive Enterprise's stocks don't become suspected and under investigation by the Stock and Exchange Commission (SEC)  :shifty:

Martin
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: thatcarlguy on August 06, 2009, 09:36:46 AM
I guess I could be a Televiper because I thread projectors? I would love one of those crazy helmets :)
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: narceron on August 06, 2009, 01:34:45 PM
Safety Viper, with secondary speciality of HR Viper, lol.

So after your leg gets cut off in a freak buzzboar incident, I can help reassign you to restricted duty, like stairwell viper,:)
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: 5h4rK on October 24, 2010, 03:10:46 PM
Old thread.. but a nice one!
I'm a Plumber-Viper, sometimes working with the Welda-Vipers or the Techno-Vipers, we're always prepared for combat.. or ready to fight the leaks!  ;D
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: bandonov on October 24, 2010, 04:43:23 PM
Sweet Thread! I would be a Techno-Viper.  Working closely with the Tele-Vipers and Snake Byte, ensuring that all the IT systems and Networking between sites are working fine.  Always looking out for G.I. Joe from hacking the systems and reporting when the Cobra Vipers are watching too much YouTube.  Techno-Vipers can be found in the basement of the Terror Drome sitting in front of a PC when they are not busy showing the Dreadnocks how to send emails, again.
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: Sundance on October 24, 2010, 04:53:14 PM
News-Viper. selling magazines to the other Cobras in a newsagents.

no, i lie. i'd be a Viper and blow my damn workplace up.
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: condor knight on October 25, 2010, 08:09:06 AM
Wheel- Viper, Fixing and installing the treads and tires on the vehicles
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: SnowHawk on October 25, 2010, 08:53:50 AM
Like this thread.  When you look at it in Viper terms.... I guess I would hate my job.

I am a parts manager at a tractor dealership.  So I would be a Parts-Viper or an Inventory-Viper.  I would sit at my desk in store room and wait for a Techno-Viper, Paint-Viper or Weld-A-Viper to come ask me for parts or supplies to fix a HISS Tank or Cobra Rage.

My snap on accessories would be a Laptop, Clipboard and a utility knife for cutting open boxes.  Because I would rarely leave Cobra Island or Springfield I would not be issued any weapons.  I spend my days dreaming I would be accepted into the Alley-Viper or Frag-Viper program, but hope I do my Parts-Viper job good enough that I don't get demoted to a Toxo-Viper or dare I say Toxo-Zombie.
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: NeoDragonKnight on October 25, 2010, 09:44:55 AM
Programmer-viper
or would it just fall under Tele-viper?
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: morgardee on October 25, 2010, 10:13:30 AM
I like to clean glass surfaces...  :wink:
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: 5h4rK on October 25, 2010, 03:43:03 PM
Quote from: "SnowHawk"
...or dare I say Toxo-Zombie.

Toxo-Zombie.. Mmmmmm. the dream job eh?
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: latinjoe22 on October 25, 2010, 06:21:17 PM
Quote from: "morgardee"
I like to clean glass surfaces...  :wink:

Squeegee Viper  :P  :lol:
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: morgardee on October 25, 2010, 08:08:59 PM
Quote from: "latinjoe22"
Quote from: "morgardee"
I like to clean glass surfaces...  :wink:

Squeegee Viper  :P  :lol:

Window Viper. I've come to vipe your vindows.
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: latinjoe22 on October 25, 2010, 09:51:29 PM
Quote from: "morgardee"
Quote from: "latinjoe22"
Quote from: "morgardee"
I like to clean glass surfaces...  :wink:

Squeegee Viper  :P  :lol:

Window Viper. I've come to vipe your vindows.

Oooh, the viper is coming :o. Good come back btw  :wink: +1!
Title: Re: What kind of Viper would you be?
Post by: bandonov on October 25, 2010, 10:34:06 PM
That vas vay to funny....